believe it or not, i've lost a total of 8 pounds over the past 2 1/2 weeks. which means i've lost all the weight i put on over the fall, and i'm back to a grand total of 30 pounds gone. i'm so happy.
now comes the fun part, where i go above 30. i have about 100 pounds to lose still, but i'm going to take it one day at a time. it wasn't too hard to get to 30, so i can take it on. it's going to feel so good to get this weight off, and hopefully this time i can keep it off. moderation is the key. if i want something bad, i'll have it. but 90% of the time i'll be good. that works for me. not total deprivation, because that's just not realistic.
plus, i have the motivation of having an old friend come to visit in june. i haven't seen her since 2001, and i've put on quite a lot of weight since then, so i'm a little nervous. i always get this way when seeing old friends. i feel embarrassed, and self-conscious. i don't even like having pictures of me tagged on facebook, because then everyone can see how fat i've gotten. so this visit will be a great motivation to stick to the plan and lose the damn weight.
just gotta keep thinking about idina and tessa and taylor. what would taylor schilling do?
Friday, January 28, 2011
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
back to reality
i'm back, kids. back with a renewed quest for health and less-fat-than-i-am-now-ness.
before the fall, i had lost 30 pounds. and i was extremely proud of it. i was able to get into a size 20, which is something i haven't seen in many, many years. and i felt great. but then vacation happened, and i fell off the wagon. after four months of eating whatever i wanted, i gained back 8 of those pounds.
but after two weeks back on the diet, i've lost 6 of those 8 pounds. not too bad. i was hoping for a better number, but i'll take it. i'm exercising every day, i'm eating a ton of fresh, healthy food. and i feel great.
still inspired by one ms. taylor schilling (a.k.a. skinny little bitch), and miss tessa virtue. but i've also rekindled my love -- uh, i mean admiration -- for idina menzel. she's not super skinny anymore, but i like that about her. she's always been a solid figure, and that's cool. but i will admit that her bikram yoga body was smokin'.
damn. look at those freaking abs. you won't see me doing bikram, though. i'll just have to settle for her post-pregnancy tummy. and i can live with that.
before the fall, i had lost 30 pounds. and i was extremely proud of it. i was able to get into a size 20, which is something i haven't seen in many, many years. and i felt great. but then vacation happened, and i fell off the wagon. after four months of eating whatever i wanted, i gained back 8 of those pounds.
but after two weeks back on the diet, i've lost 6 of those 8 pounds. not too bad. i was hoping for a better number, but i'll take it. i'm exercising every day, i'm eating a ton of fresh, healthy food. and i feel great.
still inspired by one ms. taylor schilling (a.k.a. skinny little bitch), and miss tessa virtue. but i've also rekindled my love -- uh, i mean admiration -- for idina menzel. she's not super skinny anymore, but i like that about her. she's always been a solid figure, and that's cool. but i will admit that her bikram yoga body was smokin'.
damn. look at those freaking abs. you won't see me doing bikram, though. i'll just have to settle for her post-pregnancy tummy. and i can live with that.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
on holiday
it's been a long time. going on vacation threw me off my game, and my new desk at work doesn't really allow me to sneak in those morning blog entries. so here i am.
i'm up to 17 pounds now, which is good. but i wish i could be making better progress. it's been two months. i really need to step up my workouts. of course, i just got the jillian michaels 30 day shred video, and she's kicking my ass. it nearly killed me last night. but it'll definitely do the trick.
right now the wife is away, which usually means that i don't do anything. but i've been eating well, and exercising every day. so i guess that's good.
but really, i have to get my ass in gear. i have only five months until skate canada, where i will be purchasing a new wardrobe from roots. so i need to lose a lot of weight by then. plus, we're going to train to climb the thousand islands skydeck on the way into canada, so i have to be in wicked good shape by then. oh, and we're going to acadia at the beginning of that month, so i'll need to be in good enough shape to do those tough trails.
gah! need to get in gear!
how am i going to do it without my weekly dose of taylor schilling?
guess i'll just have to look to that cutie tessa virtue.
i'm up to 17 pounds now, which is good. but i wish i could be making better progress. it's been two months. i really need to step up my workouts. of course, i just got the jillian michaels 30 day shred video, and she's kicking my ass. it nearly killed me last night. but it'll definitely do the trick.
right now the wife is away, which usually means that i don't do anything. but i've been eating well, and exercising every day. so i guess that's good.
but really, i have to get my ass in gear. i have only five months until skate canada, where i will be purchasing a new wardrobe from roots. so i need to lose a lot of weight by then. plus, we're going to train to climb the thousand islands skydeck on the way into canada, so i have to be in wicked good shape by then. oh, and we're going to acadia at the beginning of that month, so i'll need to be in good enough shape to do those tough trails.
gah! need to get in gear!
how am i going to do it without my weekly dose of taylor schilling?
guess i'll just have to look to that cutie tessa virtue.
[i LOVE the person who screencapped this. it was from the NBC post-closing olympic ceremony show, and when i saw that two seconds of tessa, i wished that i had a photo of her at that moment. so cute. so, thankyouthankyouthankyou fellow livejournal tessa junkie. i'm still not ready to erase it from my DVR, but i'm happy that there's a stillshot out there on the net.]
but anyway. yes. tessa. inspiration.
in all seriousness, who wouldn't want to have a body like hers? she's a freakin' powerhouse.
tessa, be my guide.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
what would taylor schilling do?
11 pounds. five weeks and 11 pounds down. only 139 pounds to go. seems like such an impossible feat, but i'm committed to making it happen. and it's gotten easier. i got over that second week slump where you feel like your body is going to eat itself because you're so hungry. and i got past the fourth week slump where you wonder why you're still doing this and you just want to go back to eating normally again. now i'm closing in on week six, and it's not so hard anymore. i don't get nearly as hungry, and i have more energy for exercising.
the other night, at the track, on my sixth lap of walking, i suddenly remembered taylor schilling. what would she do? would she wimp out on running because she was tired and hungry? hell no. she'd get that skinny little ass in gear and run. so run is what i did. and i was able to run for longer distances. i'm so proud of myself. made me almost want to go out to the track last night and repeat my performance. except that last night was strength training and boxing night. also housework night.
oh, and -- taylor schilling night. new episode of "mercy." you can bet your ass that my ass was on the couch for that hour. gotta love those dimples.
the other night, at the track, on my sixth lap of walking, i suddenly remembered taylor schilling. what would she do? would she wimp out on running because she was tired and hungry? hell no. she'd get that skinny little ass in gear and run. so run is what i did. and i was able to run for longer distances. i'm so proud of myself. made me almost want to go out to the track last night and repeat my performance. except that last night was strength training and boxing night. also housework night.
oh, and -- taylor schilling night. new episode of "mercy." you can bet your ass that my ass was on the couch for that hour. gotta love those dimples.
Friday, April 16, 2010
v is for...
four weeks ago, i made the decision to go vegan. i didn't really tell anyone, like my parents or anything. i just said i wasn't eating cheese because of the fat content. but really, i was giving this vegan thing a test run. and here i am, four weeks later, and the only non-vegan thing i've had was a single bite of birthday cake. i'm pretty impressed. i didn't think i could give up mozzarella cheese, which was really the only thing stopping me from going vegan. but it hasn't been too bad. yeah, i've had cravings. but overall, i feel pretty good about the decision. and i'm going to continue with it.
today, though, i told my soon-to-be co-workers that i'm vegan, and they were full of the same questions that most meat eaters are: how do you get your protein? what if the milk is organic? don't you know that humans are meant to eat meat? there's a circle of life for a reason... yada, yada, yada. i was pretty much getting attacked by one person, in particular, who went to vet school and said she went veg during her time in college because of all the research she was reading. but then decided she couldn't live that way, and now tries to do organic/local/self-sustaining farming. and i think that's great. if i raised my dairy cows and milked them myself and had a way to pasteurize the milk, yeah, maybe i wouldn't be vegan. but the thing is that i don't, so i have to go with what works for me. i told her that i'm not out to convert anyone, or push my beliefs on anyone -- what's right for me isn't right for everyone. but she just wouldn't let it go. and i was reminded of myself ten years ago, when i was just as hostile with my wife because i didn't understand it, and i probably had some guilt in there too. i chose not to think about how my food choices mattered because i didn't want to give up the things i enjoyed. being a picky eater, chicken and turkey and cheese subs were my staples. and so a lot of my lashing out probably had to do with my own insecurities and feelings of guilt for eating animals.
but things are different today. i did a lot of research, and there were health problems to contend with, too. going organic did a lot for relieving the symptoms of my pituitary tumor, but not enough. giving up meat altogether did help. and now that i've given up dairy, i feel even better. it was a choice that i made for both my spiritual and physical well-being. it really isn't for everyone, and i understand that. for me, it really is a spiritual thing. my soul feels lighter as a result, and as hokey as that might sound to others, it's just how it is. not everyone will choose this path, and i accept that. i'm not into the PETA way of doing things -- cramming it down the throats of anyone who will listen. extremism always seems harmful to me, because it pushes people away. instead, i'd rather live by example. this is an alternative, for people who might want to feel healthier or reduce their footprint or find a more compassionate way of living.
but again, it's not for everyone. this is just my journey. and all i can do is be present in it, and hope that people will understand.
today, though, i told my soon-to-be co-workers that i'm vegan, and they were full of the same questions that most meat eaters are: how do you get your protein? what if the milk is organic? don't you know that humans are meant to eat meat? there's a circle of life for a reason... yada, yada, yada. i was pretty much getting attacked by one person, in particular, who went to vet school and said she went veg during her time in college because of all the research she was reading. but then decided she couldn't live that way, and now tries to do organic/local/self-sustaining farming. and i think that's great. if i raised my dairy cows and milked them myself and had a way to pasteurize the milk, yeah, maybe i wouldn't be vegan. but the thing is that i don't, so i have to go with what works for me. i told her that i'm not out to convert anyone, or push my beliefs on anyone -- what's right for me isn't right for everyone. but she just wouldn't let it go. and i was reminded of myself ten years ago, when i was just as hostile with my wife because i didn't understand it, and i probably had some guilt in there too. i chose not to think about how my food choices mattered because i didn't want to give up the things i enjoyed. being a picky eater, chicken and turkey and cheese subs were my staples. and so a lot of my lashing out probably had to do with my own insecurities and feelings of guilt for eating animals.
but things are different today. i did a lot of research, and there were health problems to contend with, too. going organic did a lot for relieving the symptoms of my pituitary tumor, but not enough. giving up meat altogether did help. and now that i've given up dairy, i feel even better. it was a choice that i made for both my spiritual and physical well-being. it really isn't for everyone, and i understand that. for me, it really is a spiritual thing. my soul feels lighter as a result, and as hokey as that might sound to others, it's just how it is. not everyone will choose this path, and i accept that. i'm not into the PETA way of doing things -- cramming it down the throats of anyone who will listen. extremism always seems harmful to me, because it pushes people away. instead, i'd rather live by example. this is an alternative, for people who might want to feel healthier or reduce their footprint or find a more compassionate way of living.
but again, it's not for everyone. this is just my journey. and all i can do is be present in it, and hope that people will understand.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
the wrath of taylor schilling
last night i didn't feel like running at the track. i kept a good pace with the walking, but i just didn't feel up for jogging.
and this is the face taylor is giving me now:
"Oh, so you just didn't feel like it," she says. she's not impressed.
see what i mean?
today, though, i'm going to do cardio in addition to my scheduled strength training.
oh, and look at that smile now.
see? taylor's happy when i exercise.
look at that pretty smile. those sparkling blue eyes, those perfect white teeth. those dimples (oh dear god those dimples). the confidently messy hair. she knows she's pretty.
even in that boxy poly-cotton blend bowling shirt. she's confident. and that goes far.
maybe someday that will be me. not the pretty smile or perfect teeth or dimples. but the confidence. think i can get there again? jeez, i sure hope so.
[photo 1: nbc.com / photos 2+3: broadwayworld.com]
and this is the face taylor is giving me now:
"Oh, so you just didn't feel like it," she says. she's not impressed.
see what i mean?
today, though, i'm going to do cardio in addition to my scheduled strength training.
oh, and look at that smile now.
see? taylor's happy when i exercise.
look at that pretty smile. those sparkling blue eyes, those perfect white teeth. those dimples (oh dear god those dimples). the confidently messy hair. she knows she's pretty.
even in that boxy poly-cotton blend bowling shirt. she's confident. and that goes far.
maybe someday that will be me. not the pretty smile or perfect teeth or dimples. but the confidence. think i can get there again? jeez, i sure hope so.
[photo 1: nbc.com / photos 2+3: broadwayworld.com]
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
look out, below
i'm feeling good today. positive. almost upbeat. i was thinking lots about our favorite place to go, acadia, and thinking about the hundreds of wonderful hiking and climbing trails available to us. i've got to get in shape so that we can do lots of them while on vacation in the fall. the one i'd really like to do is the precipice trail, which is a one-mile straight-up-the-side-of-a-cliff hike. they consider it a non-technical climb. it's that steep. you're basically hanging on to the oddly-placed metal rungs that are jutting out from the rock wall.
yup, there it is.
it's tough to do when you're in shape and small, but hauling my fat ass up there? no way. i want to do it, though. and if i train hard enough, maybe i can. perhaps not this fall, but maybe next fall.
now that it's staying light out later in the evening, we've gotta start hiking after work. even if we just go to kennedy park, or pleasant valley, or wherever, and try to do the more difficult trails within those parks.
god i love hiking. you sweat, and you get out of breath, and you're exhausted and bugs are biting you and it's hell on earth, but it's also so rewarding and amazing. one of my favorite things to do. for me, it's a spiritual experience.
so, it's time to lace up those new hiking boots and hit the trails. and hopefully that will help me shed some more of this weight.
yup, there it is.
it's tough to do when you're in shape and small, but hauling my fat ass up there? no way. i want to do it, though. and if i train hard enough, maybe i can. perhaps not this fall, but maybe next fall.
now that it's staying light out later in the evening, we've gotta start hiking after work. even if we just go to kennedy park, or pleasant valley, or wherever, and try to do the more difficult trails within those parks.
god i love hiking. you sweat, and you get out of breath, and you're exhausted and bugs are biting you and it's hell on earth, but it's also so rewarding and amazing. one of my favorite things to do. for me, it's a spiritual experience.
so, it's time to lace up those new hiking boots and hit the trails. and hopefully that will help me shed some more of this weight.
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